Isn’t it funny how much we try to plan things, and the more we plan things out the more life is like “ha no”.
I started this blog March 16th, 2017. I had PLANNED to keep at it of course, as I always do when I start blogging. However, at that time I didn’t know I had ADHD and I went off track with it. Posted waaaaay less than I had intended, some of my beginning entries are very forced when I look back, no wonder it didn’t work out how I had wanted. I took breaks from my “post schedule”, then took even longer ones. Enter ADHD meds and now I feel like all my thoughts I’ve ever had are pouring out of me into my drafts. It’s great, honestly. It’s authentic and natural and slightly diaristic. Although sometimes I feel annoying because I’m constantly dropping my “link in bio” sentence in my captions on Instagram but ultimately I’m just excited to be able to stick with something. I don’t want to force anyone to come read my entires. I would rather you be here because you want to be, because you support me and because you like what you’re reading.
Originally, I started Homebody Happiness because I was trying to make the best of things where I was in my life at that time. I was in the darkness of prenatal depression and I was trying to give myself a light. A purpose. Something to get my mind away from the bad. I planned to focus my posts around life in general, beauty, food, motherhood slow living and mental health. These were a mix of interests I had always had and things I aspired to obtain. I looked up to all these incredible women on Instagram and I thought to myself, if only I could get myself to where they are I would be totally happy. Ultimately I was trying to reach happiness by forcing myself into a box – one that I didn’t even belong in.
In keeping with my 2018 thus far, I’m letting that shit go. I am not the people I look up to, and that’s totally okay. It’s so strange because as I write this I keep thinking to myself that this is such an elementary lesson. One that I feel like at some point I have already gone through. Everyone is different right? We get told that pretty early on. Everyone has their thing, their highs and their strengths. Somewhere along the way I guess I forgot that. Just because some people are super great at some things that I’m not, doesn’t mean I’m shitty at everything (so dramatic). I want to officially give back to myself the permission to look up to these incredible people even though I will never be like them. We are allowed to look up to others and we’re allowed to think they’re cool and we’re allowed to wish we had some of the things they have but we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get lost in it all. I am so fucking lucky to have what I have and to be who I am. None of it is perfect but either are those beautifully curated accounts you scroll past on Instagram. They struggle just like everyone else because they ARE just like everyone else. They are real people that get divorced, spend too much money, have mental breakdowns, lose friends, get sick and all that other shitty stuff life throws at us. They also have gorgeous weddings, buy beautiful baby clothes, cook amazing meals and live in pretty houses. Give them a break, give yourselves a break and maybe we can join like a super supportive gang one day where we just constantly remind each other not to worry about what other people think and that we’re all just doing the best we can.
In the end I always have the same intentions when I’m posting something online. I’m speaking for those that can’t. I’m here in an attempt to comfort anyone that may be in my same situation. I’m here to try to make things easier for others.
With all that being said I’m going to change things up a little bit on my slice of the internet here. The changes aren’t grand or life altering or anything like that, just little things that will make this space more authentic to me, I hope you enjoy them.
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